When news broke that Amy Coney Barrett was a handmaid in the religious organization People of Praise I thought, wow… it’s about time!
It’s a travesty the Supreme Court has gone over 200 years without a single handmaid. Amy Coney Barrett is breaking glass ceilings and making every little girl see that if she just works hard enough, she too can be a handmaid on the highest court in the land.
Here are six reasons why we need Amy Coney Barrett, a literal handmaid and champion for women, on the bench.
- Many women hold their tongues, Amy Coney Barrett speaks in tongues.
- It’s rumored that Brett Kavanaugh has been requesting a handmaid since he got appointed. “Ofbrett” has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?
- I think we should have more justices with cultish religious views. When have cultish religious views ever hurt anyone? Blessed be the fruit Kool-aid at her appointment party. I’d also like to suggest a member of The Manson Family to fill Clarence Thomas’ seat.
- It’s about time we had someone on the Supreme Court that believed in faith healing. The new Affordable Care Act will just be a minister placing his sweaty hand on your forehead. So cheap and so effective.
- When I think about the best person to ensure American people have equal justice under the law, I think who better than someone who thinks women are subservient to men? I think it’s fantastic that Amy Coney Barrett plans to Snapchat her husband/Commander to get his approval before deciding any nation-changing Supreme Court cases.
- Let’s face it, that red robe will give the judicial bench a much-needed pop of color. Praise be.