Millennial Rebrand ‘Wheel of Fortune’ Allows Contestants To Buy a Vowel in 4 Interest-Free Payments

Lauren Killer
Lauren Killer
June 26, 2022

Introducing Wheel of Fortune: Millennial Edition!

You spilled the tea, and we, the executives at Sony Pictures Television, listened! “America’s Game” is getting a revamp with everything you loved about the original, but with some super #legit updates.

So what are these lit new changes? The suits over in market research are telling us you guys are woke. So our longtime hosts, Pat Sajak and Vanna White, are #DoingTheWork. Pat will no longer demand contestants “go ahead and spin the wheel” until he’s fully acknowledged the lived experience of every contestant on stage. Vanna will clap non-stop throughout the duration of the show to ensure hella coddling. They’re both stoked to show off their ironic mullets and various stick-n-pokes from this cool indie flash artist outside Austin.

Other updates aim to make sure the vibes are immaculate. Competition now takes place in a Zoom/in-person hybrid model, and instead of speaking directly to Pat, contestants can now ping him on Gchat or slide into his Instagram DM’s to submit puzzle answers.

Updates to gameplay are rolling out as well. Contestants can now buy vowels in four interest-free payments of $19.99. Consonants are still included (swerve!), but once players turn 26, they’ll be responsible for supplying their own. Also, winnings are just loans now! Which means contestants are required to pay them back over the next 30 years or until they die from a climate-related disaster (whichever comes first). Also new? Emojis as playable letters, and lo-fi beats will play on a loop in the background to increase focus. #Adulting

And is that our renovated set or the interior of a walk-in clinic in a gentrified neighborhood?! That’s right: Our new digs are totally sleek, minimalistic, exclusively flesh-toned, and so full of tropical house plants, the puzzle board is barely visible. Most importantly, our iconic wheel has been updated to a beautiful monochrome with no visible branding, sponsored by BetterHelp.

The show will continue to air at 7:30pm ET, but you’ll only ever watch it in bite-sized clips on your social media feed and sometimes on Hulu…if you have your parents’ password!

Wheel of Fortune: Millennial Edition airs this fall! And keep an eye out for the forthcoming Gen-Z revamp of “Jeopardy,” where contestants must phrase their response in the form of a viral TikTok dance!