Ghostface: Hello? Who is this?
Casey: I think you have the wrong number.
[Casey hangs up. The phone rings again.]
Ghostface: Why don’t you want to talk to me?
Casey: Seriously, who is this? You don’t need to keep calling … I already voted.
Ghostface: Tell me your name and I’ll tell you mine.
Casey: Dude, you’re kind of weird. But I haven’t had an actual conversation for about eight months now, so all right, let’s do this.
Ghostface: Wait, you’re not- You’re not scared?
Casey: I used to be scared of a lot of things. Covid. Murder hornets. Aging out of my parents’ insurance. But ten months into 2020, the only thing I’m immune to is fear.
Ghostface: Maybe I can change that. Do you want to play a game?
Casey: What did you have in mind?
Ghostface: I’ll ask you a question, and if you get it right, you stay alive.
Casey: Don’t know if you can call what any of us are doing right now “living,” but yeah, all right.
Ghostface: Do you wear a mask when you go out in public?
Casey: Of course. I’m not a sociopath.
Ghostface: That makes one of us.
Ghostface: In the past 24 hours, have you experienced chills, fevers, coughs, loss of taste, or loss of smell?
Ghostface: Headaches or fatigue?
Casey: Only when I listen to the news.
Ghostface: In the past two weeks, have you had any known contact with anyone who tested positive for Covid?
Casey: Buddy, I haven’t had contact with anyone. Unless you count waving at my Grubhub driver just to feel something.
Ghostface: You never told me your name.
Casey: Why do you want to know my name?
Ghostface: So I know who I am looking at.
Casey: Did I forget to turn my camera off? Wait, we’re not on Zoom… How can you see me?
Ghostface: I’ve been watching you for a long time. Long enough to watch your roots grow out and learn your darkest secret…you’re not a natural blonde.
Casey: Please…promise you won’t tell anyone.
Ghostface: And now that you’ve passed my Covid screening, I thought I’d get a little closer. So here’s my final question: What door am I at?
Casey: Wait, you’re here? Like at my apartment? This is so exciting! I haven’t seen another human being for eight months. Come on in!
[Casey flips on the light and peers out her front door. Ghostface is standing outside.]
Ghostface: You- You want me to come in?
Casey: Absolutely! Let me just see if I can find my bra. It’s been buried under my bed since April.
Ghostface: Forget it. It’s no fun if you’re not scared.
[Ghostface turns and heads for his car.]
Casey: Wait, come back! We can start a quarantine bubble! Please, I’M SO BORED!