The 2022 Best Picture Noms Described by Someone Who’s Definitely Seen All of Them

Elyza Halpern
Elyza Halpern
March 28, 2022

The 2022 Oscars are almost here, and boy has it been a year! With everything so up in the air due to Ms. ’Rona, I straight forgot the Oscars were happening. But don’t worry, I can still write my yearly “Guide to the Best Picture Noms” (and not just because I’m already on thin ice with this publication due to my antics at the Mardi Gras party…why would a workplace even throw a Mardi Gras party?!).

Anyway, here’s my guide to this year’s Best Picture nominations, all of which I have seen in full and definitely didn’t just Google the posters for five minutes before this article was due.

Belfast

Wow, who knew that bells could move that fast? In an industry where most of the bells we see on screen are slow (like those big clock tower bells that go *DIIIIING-DOOOONG*), it’s great to see fast bells (like the little ones that go *ding-ding-ding-ding-ding*) represented on screen. The bells were so fast, in fact, that they gave an Irish boy in old-timey clothes the power of flight! So inspiring!

Don’t Look Up

Who knew this feel-good comedy about a wacky extended family (where everyone suffers from the same neck condition preventing them from tilting their heads up) could be such a prestige piece? This film will make you ask the important questions, like “did this film have a casting budget equivalent to the GDP of a small country, or does Adam McKay have blackmail on most of the Hollywood A-list?”

Drive My Car

Some would say it’s “too soon” to make a movie about Olivia Rodrigo’s hit song “Driver’s License.” But you know what they say: “The devil works hard, but the ladies of pop-punk work harder.” Is the RED car a Taylor reference? Who knows?! #EasterEgg

King Richard

Back to the Future meets Game of Thrones! Watch this wacky high-concept comedy about a Dad and his two daughters who get transported back to King Richard I’s medieval England with the help of a time-traveling grocery cart. Zoinks!

Licorice Pizza

Tune into this Ratatouille-esque romp about a tiny chef man (the one the Haim sister is holding in her palm in this trippy-ass poster) who helps an aspiring restaurateur achieve her dream by whispering the recipe for his specialty, licorice pizza, in her ear during the Big Restaurant Opening Night!

Nightmare Alley

It’s good to see the sci-fi genre getting some recognition at the Oscars! This story of a world where everything is seen through the Sepia filter answers the question we all want to know: are hot people still hot in 1940s steam-punky circus clothes? Yes, yes they are.

The Power of The Dog

He’s big. He’s red. He’s ready for his first Academy Award. I was awestruck by this dark, gritty, Western remake of Clifford the Big Red Dog.

West Side Story

(Oh, whew, I actually know this one. My grandma made me watch all the old 1960s musicals when I was a kid.)

Watch this stunning remake of the classic musical about a teen pop idol who gets drafted and the goofy high-jinx that ensue!

(God I hope that’s the right musical…I need this damn job.)

Dune

Gonna be real: I didn’t see this one, but I did see this AV Club headline, which is all I need to know.