Galentine’s Day Gifts To Perform Even More Emotional Labor Over

Laurie Bolewitz
Laurie Bolewitz
February 13, 2022

Galentine’s Day started as an incredible way for women to celebrate their platonic female friendships. Nowadays, it truly encapsulates the feminist dream: having to buy things for your female friends and stressing over whether or not they’ll feel excluded if they don’t receive anything! Here are some great gift ideas that will reflect how much you think your gal pals are worth!

Matching Heart Necklaces

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For your lady friend ride-or-dies, expensive jewelry is the ultimate expression of how you don’t need men to determine your self-worth. You have diamonds for that! Make sure every diamond you gift is of equal clarity so that none of your friends think you secretly hate them.

Wine

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It’s wine o’clock somewhere! Show your girlfriends that you know their unique tastes: wine! Reminisce over all the great times you and your lady soulmates got tipsy together (the memories are hazy, but they’re all you have in common anymore, so lean in). Plus, you can keep a couple of bottles in the back of your car in case you forgot anybody!

Decorative Throw Pillow

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Who doesn’t love a decorative throw pillow?! You can pick out fun, funky patterns to showcase each of your girlie BFF’s specific sense of humor and personal background. Tessa went to college in the Southwest, right? That may be the only thing you know about her, but you’d hate for Tessa to think you forgot her this year.

Chocolates

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This is great twist because it’s LIKE a Valentine’s Day gift, BUT giving it to your GALS on GALentine’s Day totally subverts the heteronormative, patriarchal, gender binary-based history of February 14th. Oh! Wait, Galentine’s Day is the day BEFORE?! Oh, okay, just courier the chocolates a day late and claim they got lost in the mail so no one gets mad.

Bath Bomb

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What says “I CARE” more than an investment in your platonic woman-soulmates’ SELF-CARE? You get it, they’re all tired from tirelessly caring about other people, thinking that one small slip up in trivial participations in capitalism will destroy the tenuous bonds society has traditionally not allowed us to cultivate. They need rest, they need relaxation, they need time to be selfish.

What’s that? You just got in the bath? You’re eating the chocolates and wine? You just sold the necklaces to buy more decorative throw pillows for your own couch? Well, that’s fine too.

HAPPY GALENTINE’S DAY!!!! ❤ ❤ ❤