Grand Rapids, MI — After three years of not speaking to one another, Carly Hamilton and her mother Donna reconnected in an honest, suspiciously well-timed heart-to-heart. Though both walked away happy, Donna reported concern that her daughter might have had more on her mind than their relationship.
“I thought Carly wanted to meet to apologize for stealing my car and impersonating me at the bank. She did start with that, but after I forgave her and we began to catch up, she kept bringing skincare products into the conversation. According to her, ‘familial estrangement is a leading cause of dryness.’”
In recounting her side of the story, Carly unwittingly confirmed her mother’s suspicions.
“I did expect our relationship to see explosive growth, especially after inconsistent interactive distribution for the last three years. I’m not a bad person for wanting my mom — and anyone else who wants to buy our $25 night cream — to have the luminous skin of their dreams in fewer than five washes.”
When asked if financial gain was a factor in her reaching out, Carly recoiled. “How dare you suggest that. My relationship with my mother has taken some hits, but it has a solid foundation. It’s sturdy like a pyramid. Nevermind the time I lost all those snakes inside the house — I was a kid! I’ve changed. Now I’m empowering women everywhere to glisten their way to true happiness.”
One bystander in the café who saw the mother-daughter reunion reported that when Donna went to the bathroom, Carly received a phone call and said in an excited voice, “I’m so close, I just need a little more time.”
Further investigation into Carly’s relationship with the company she represents, Naute-Eu-Scamme-Beauty, reveals she joined the organization exactly one year prior to when she and her mom met up.
“My cousin Christy recruited me to join the team,” Carly explained. “It was an exhilarating meeting: she called out of the blue after years of radio silence and said she wanted to patch things up because she missed me. Now I trust her with my life and my disposable income. I just hope my mother can find that same closeness with me, her precious daughter, who also needs to hit $30k in sales by midnight.”