5 Ghosts To Possess Your Husband and Destabilize Your Marriage This Summer

Laurie Bolewitz
Laurie Bolewitz
May 26, 2022

Your marriage is rock-solid, so spending a few months in a remote cabin while your husband works on his novel and you work on your interior design business model is a great idea, right?? Well, here are some very possessive ghosts who have different plans!

Unfinished Business Ghost

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Many ghosts have unfinished business, and like your husband, that business is that they have YET TO FINISH THEIR GD NOVEL. Sure, you both planned on getting some work done and ALSO spending quality time together, but WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS IN THE WAY?! You’re jealous of him, aren’t you? Just let him THINK, goddamnit!! All work and no play……

Lumberjack Phantom

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This evil woodland spirit will inhabit your husband and compel him to incessantly chop firewood in lieu of having any attempt at healthy conversations with you. Hours upon hours of silence followed by menacing “CHOP! CHOP! CHOP!” sounds. Sure, he’s not speaking to you, but at least the yard smells nice? Good luck rekindling the flames of your marriage when this ghost has other plans!

Vengeance Wraith

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This ghost is ALWAYS going on about a “blood debt” or whatever, and your hubby is the PERFECT vehicle for revenge! Maybe that’s why you caught him carving “REVENGE” with a bunch of upside-down crosses onto the walls of your foyer? Sure, your neighbor mentioned these cabins were built on top of an old cemetery for nuns, but that was a long time ago and since when did nuns ever hold a grudge? Anyways, you have other problems, your husband has been chanting Latin in his sleep again. Necessaria morte mori, baby!

Creepy Victorian Child Spectre

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It doesn’t matter what year your summer cottage was built, that won’t stop a other-wordly Victorian Child ghost from taking up residence in your husband and making him say emotionally insensitive things to you. But also, it may inspire his playful, carefree side? What’s that chilling music box sound playing? Für Elise ? Whoops, there’s blood dripping down the walls again!

Mean-Spirited Spirit

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This ghost has ISSUES and looooooves drama. Your hubs is suddenly hurling insults left and right, then gaslighting you like, “Oh, you’re too sensitive!” and, “I’m pretty sure that open pit of human bones has always been there!” It’ll be like middle school but instead of merely digging up your insecurities, this ghost will also have your husband dig up some human remains as well. Stay strong! (And outta that pit!)

Good luck this summer and try to enjoy yourself! Remember, there’s nothing that a few sessions of marriage counseling or an exorcist can’t fix!

Good luck this summer and try to enjoy yourself! Remember, there’s nothing that a few sessions of marriage counseling or an exorcist can’t fix!