Rejectress Submission: Sarah Kranau

Sarah Kranau
Sarah Kranau
August 28, 2020

“Five rompers that will leave you naked and afraid as soon as you have to pee”

(Style/Fashion) Love the ease of a one-piece wonder and the challenge of being fully nude in public? Then you’ll love these five pieces right up until your bladder is full.

“Mom calling just to let you know that she overindulged on a FiberOne brownie”

(Local/Food & Drink) In a breaking story out of your childhood kitchen, Mom called purely to let you know that she feels “positively indulgent” for splurging on a fiber-packed gut bomb.

“Relationship Goals?? Instead of a boyfriend, this woman just found a fiddle leaf fig with trust issues”

(Dating/Love) Tired of playing the dating game and endlessly swiping left, this woman hit up her local Home Depot and found the challenging commitment of her dreams.

“Five great hiking trails for when you lied to him about being outdoorsy”

(Adventures) Do you get winded on one flight of stairs, but realized you can’t postpone that hike you committed to for the third time? Then these hikes will absolutely make you realize that you need to stop lying on Tinder.

““We’re so sad to postpone our wedding!” says couple that will break up two months into quarantine”

(Dating/Love) In a shocking turn of events, local couple that can’t stand to be in the same room is reportedly “devastated” to postpone their upcoming nuptials.

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