To Jen in Apartment 3,
My Harold team, “Wes, And(erson),” is not saying “Yes, and!” to this pandemic. That’s why we’re giving back to essential workers by playing Zip Zap Zop every night at 7pm, EST.
We know this is an alternative solution that not everyone will understand. And we know you’ve threatened to report our altruism to our landlord, so I’m taking this opportunity to clear up any confusion you may have. While we are improvisers first, we are also devoted tenants of Apartment 9.
In the beginning, our captain Kenny went door to door inviting our neighbors to join in on our Zip Zap Zopping. You may have misunderstood what he was saying, as he committed to a British accent while in character as Ringo Starr the entire time. According to Kenny, you said that you were uninterested in our “selfish antics.” But if playing our favorite warm-up game makes us this happy, imagine the joy it will bring to essential workers! Wouldn’t you want to come home after a long day of managing a Costco to be serenaded by our team’s incredibly spirited round of Zip Zap Zop? Our improv coach calls our work “…unforgettable.”
(By the way, New York’s “essential workers clap” is boring and was probably started by squares who do scripted theater. Yuck!!)
We are honoring these brave workers with thirty straight minutes of intense, unpredictable gameplay that features us projecting our voices (which you incorrectly identified as “screaming”), making silly noises (who doesn’t love a good fart sound!), and interpretive dance (The Worm, anyone??).
Nothing in our lease bans being hilarious and innovative — especially if it’s literally for charity! You might be “volunteering at a food bank” and filling stomachs, but we’re filling souls. That is equally as impactful.
In a way, we are also essential workers. The last time you screamed at us from your window, you mentioned your cousin who is a doctor — she is not so different from us. She takes risks while saving lives, and we take risks with our art. We’re both vulnerable like that. For this reason, we vow to Zip Zap Zop daily until there is a cure, or until the landlord speaks to us themselves — whatever comes first!
The Wes And(erson) Team