[CHICAGO] This just in: Your friend Janet Harrison fostered a 12-year-old pitbull without having paid you back for the last four dinners out on the town.
“Isn’t he the cutest?” Janet asked, holding him by what looked like a fancy new leash.
While the pup is totally adorable, the director at the fostering company Big Tails Fur Hearts estimates he’ll need about $100 in medication to treat worms — roughly the same amount of money Janet owes you for the Chicken Piccata and three glasses of Riesling she ordered on Friday.
“I had to do all this paperwork to prove I could care for him,” said Janet, who always manages to forget to check her Venmo requests. “But I guess when something is important, you make sure it gets done!” She laughed as you refreshed your activity feed for any new payments.
“The funny thing is that his wet food costs more than my food!” She exclaimed, as if she has any concept of how much human food costs these days.
When asked how she’ll manage to maintain a social life with her new high-needs pet, Janet said it’d be a little difficult for a while.
“In fact, I’m probably going to have to bail on the concert next weekend,” she said, giving you six days to sell her $80 ticket that you bought along with your own in February after she told you, “It’s worth it! They’re a pretty underground band, and they’re sixth in the lineup, but we’ll have a great time!”
But Janet is confident she can make her new life work. “People say owning a pet is hard, but honestly, I feel so ready for the responsibility,” she said, making your eyes roll all the way back into your head.