Summer Solstice Rituals Bring Seasonal Blessings And Hopefully Student Loan Forgiveness

Laurie Bolewitz
Laurie Bolewitz
June 20, 2021

The longest day of the year is finally here! What better time to channel your inner witch? Use these rituals to conjure up blessings of nature, and while you’re at it, you might as well bewitch Congress into passing Student Loan Forgiveness!

1) Clutch Your Crystals

Hold your prosperity crystals (jade, tiger’s eye, pyrite, obvs) close to your heart, summoning blessings and a debt-free life. Let us not forget how we need Biden to alleviate the $1.7 trillion in student loans that many of us are currently buried under. Let’s make those solstice blessings abound! …Because Sallie Mae won’t stop calling!

2) Chant an Incantation

The weather is heating up, and so is your desire for new tidings of summer joy! Repeat these mantras: “I am summer,” “I am light,” and “I am the rage of young voters who were promised Student Loan Debt Relief by Biden, who specifically used it as a campaign promise, and now all of a sudden he’s neglected to include it in any of his budget proposals.” Rolls right off the tongue, beautiful!

3) Embrace The Outdoors with Your Summer Coven

The days are longer, which means there’s more time for you to call on your coven to delight in those summer vibes! Your coven, of course, includes Chuck Schumer and Elizabeth Warren, both of who have called on Biden to spearhead forgiving $50,000 in student debt per borrower. Witches (and warlocks?) get stuff done!

4) Celebrate at Stonehenge

It’s a witch’s dream to spend a Summer Solstice at Stonehenge. If you can’t make the trip this year, don’t worry — we all live with disappointment!

…Just like the 98 to 99% of applicants who have been rejected by the Federal Service Loan forgiveness program since 2017.

Maybe try incorporating homeopathic herbs into your seasonal celebration to solve this broken system? Oh, and we heard cutting back on lattes and avocado toasts may help too! What a solid budgeting tip in case this whole loan forgiveness thing doesn’t pan out.

5) Light A Bonfire

Fire symbolizes renewal — but it also symbolizes lighting a fire under the asses of our government officials (ahem, Biiiden!) to save us from predatory lending by forgiving student loans. Burn it all down! (For legal reasons, we must specify: metaphorically).

Happy Summer Solstice! Let’s usher in the warmer months, as well as inspire the blessings of Student Loan Forgiveness. Who knows, maybe next solstice, we can tackle healthcare! Say your spells, witches!