Small-Town Zit Destined To Become Big-Time Scar

Molly Kessler
Molly Kessler
June 6, 2021

Daring, defiant, and positively pulsating — this year’s hottest breakout sensation is already turning heads in Hollywood. From the forehead of 30-year-old Erin Braverman comes a plucky little zit who’s well on its way to becoming a big-time scar.

“You can’t help but notice it,” said friend Sura Whitehead. “This is a pimple that demands your attention, and I think people are starting to take notice.”

And take notice they have. Critics across the globe are raving about this tiny eye-catcher:

“It’s the biggest thing to come out of Erin’s face in years.” — The New York Times

“A marvel in 3 dimensions.” — The Boston Globe

“This zit will change the way we look at Erin’s forehead forever. I daresay her forehead will never be the same.” — Oprah’s friend and television personality Gayle King

So what’s the story? Where did it come from? Why is it twitching? An inside source reveals that the blemish made its first public appearance the morning Erin was supposed to get professional headshots taken for her LinkedIn page.

“We tried using cover-up,” confessed photographer Calvin Boyle. “But no matter what we threw at it, you simply couldn’t look away.”

And look away we won’t. This little zit has shown that even the smallest blemish can make a splash. Despite being a relative newcomer to Erin’s face, it has already garnered the attention of dermatologist Pam Pull, securing a coveted spot on her office’s “Wall of Firsts.”

“Make no mistake,” said Dr. Pull. “This zit is going to leave a permanent mark on Erin’s forehead, not to mention on the industry at large.”

Sometimes the biggest scars come when you least expect them, and this pint-sized carbuncle has proven that age is just a number.

“I really thought these days were behind me,” reflects Erin. “People tell you you’re too old or too this or too that. But then this zit showed up, and now it’s all anyone can talk about. It’s like I’m 16 again.” Yes, as Ms. Braverman’s pores can attest, you really are never too old to burst onto the scene.

So what’s next for this mongo papule? Let’s just say, if you like pop music, you’re going to want to stick around. Until then, our staff will be on-site to report it all — the meteoric rise, explosion, and inevitable scar-status. Because, like this zit, we’re not going anywhere.

Erin has denied requests for photos at this time.